Depression Sucks
I just want to give up, I’m so very tired of dealing with depression.
lost
All posts tagged lost
Once upon a dream, I believed in you…trusted you…now I feel like a naive little girl…one that wants to hide.
Once upon a dream,
He stood beside her strong,
His voice, his words caressed,
A lonely soul day’s song.
They had their own tune,
Dancing to infinity,
Their hearts were introducing,
Desires for them to see.
The stream and the oak,
A special place to dream,
While hand in hand they talked,
For endless hours it seemed.
The closer he became,
The smaller she would be,
Finding all the darkness,
Only a child’s eye could see.
Scared and all alone,
A frightened child became,
Running through the woods,
Yet the love remained the same.
Hiding in the tall grass,
His every move aware,
The little girl hiding,
Winds blowing her dark hair.
She’d peek above the grass,
Reaching out she tried,
No voice to carry her words,
On this heart-wrenching ride.
The strong man knew,
Her essence always near,
Always and forever,
He understood her fear.
One day she had hoped,
That he would show a sign,
One that was equal,
For their love to align.
Through her hurt and fear,
She pushed through the weeds,
Hoping to bare all,
With a crop of true seeds.
The scars and the bruises,
For both run deep,
She showed every mark,
As he fell further asleep.
She tried with all her might,
To show him all there is,
This child, this woman, this creation,
Was infinitely his.
But each day that passed,
Instead of closer became,
He pulled farther away,
Until there was no same.
Alone she began,
And alone she remains,
He blocks her from reaching out,
As the jagged rocks pain,
Increases with each day,
That he pushes her away,
She believed with all her being,
He would truly stay.
Fearful and scared,
She knows he does not care.
Inside she will go,
Back to the deepest stare.
The one where no one can,
Nor in this life will,
Break the spell upon her,
That keeps her heart still.
No fire to warm her soul,
No passion to fuel the flames,
A frozen porcelain doll,
Shattered and never the same.
Honor, truth, and loyalty,
A warm hand to hold,
Crumbled to a billion pieces,
As he broke the mold.
Her only hope is someday,
Perhaps a fire will roar,
Turning all to ash,
Burning the pieces on the floor.
May the winds carry her ashes,
To the ends of the world,
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
Her unwanted dreams unfurled.
Forever and a day.
Everything I love is gone, I’ve never been so alone in all my life.
Appreciate the times when you are so happy and be thankful when you have all the things and people that fill your day with love and laughter, because one day something may happen that crushes and ruins what you hold dearest to your heart. You may not be greedy, or want much for yourself, just a happy life with family and friends. I think these are basic needs in all beings, but life can be unfair, and it’s arrogance and ignorance will cause you pain, no matter how humble, caring, and loving you may be.
One day you may wake up and find that no one is there for you, no one to stand by your side, no one to protect you from the pains of life, and no one to talk to. Kids are not the only ones that cry into their blankets in the middle of the night. I stay quiet and never say a word to anyone about how I feel, but yes I also cry in the middle of the night where there is no chance of anyone seeing me and I will go on encouraging others, wanting others to be happy, while inside I feel like I am slowly dying. Such is life, it goes on for those who don’t want it, and leaves those who want to keep it. If I could give the essence of my life to a dying person that wanted to live, I would do so gladly.
~ALA~
I seem to have lost my space…
“Between stimulus and response there is a space…
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
~Viktor Frankl~
Fuck it!
UPDATE FOR REFERRAL LINK IEARN123.COM : I finally made it to the 25 dollar mark where a form pops up to request payment. In order to get your payment you must do a survey, ok fine, I can do a survey, so I take a Pepsi vs Coke challenge survey. Then of course it’s not a survey you take and are done, there are pages and pages of advertisements that they want you to sign up for which it says is optional, yet as I clicked skip as many times as I could until I got to a page that insisted on me signing up for it, I quit. My status stands at survey uncompleted and I can not get paid, so basically, if you want to get your money you have to spend money, which even then I highly doubt you would get your money. Total waste of time, total scam,
iearn123.com you suck!
Ok, on to something new LOL, am sure my curious little mind will get me into something somewhere 
Always messy hair LOL – Yep it’s me……..Fuck it, right?
- Fuck it!
Fuck it!
Fuck it!
Fuck it
AND FINALLY, YES…YES…OH YESSSS…………FUCK IT!
I don’t know what it is but every time I do an update on this referral it makes me giggle. Ok, I am 1 dollar away from the minimum 25 dollars you need to be able to ask for a withdraw. I don’t even know how many clicks it takes to get that dollar, but com’n and help me out here, so we can find out if this place actually pays. I still do not believe they will, but……we won’t know unless we try, and as long as in that trying you don’t give out any personal information or download anything from such a site. I guess I’m saying, use common sense and keep yourself safe.
http://iearn123.com/ref.php?page=act%2Fref&invcod=109357
The ALMIGHTY referral link LOL
Geeze it’s mid week already and I’m still getting over this cold I brought back with me from Michigan. I’ve been moody, cranky, crabby, and all kinds of wanna bury my head under my pillow and pull the blankets up to my chin and hideaway mode.
My son is now back in Michigan, he found work while we were up there taking the kids back to their mommy (my daughter), and now I just need to get my daughter back down here to Columbus where she wants to be. Endless circles, endless loops and I work like hell to stay positive, but I’m tired. I’m run down, tired of fighting life’s battles every damn day, probably need a daily spanking for an attitude adjustment (just don’t have someone to do that), and it’s kind of like fuck it? Yeah I guess, FUCK IT!
Oh I have decided to post a couple pics of me for those of who do not know me and read my blog. Sometimes, it’s nice to put a face to the words, but that’s all you’re getting is a face pic LMAO!!!!
Everyday me, messy hair and all…and yes I am extremely camera shy.
Me and my favorite teddy.
