Be pleasing always…
There are some things in life that come naturally without needing guidance or having to be told what to do, but there are other circumstances where the submissive does not know what to do, and one of the biggest mistakes is trying to figure it out on your own when the correct thing to do would have been to contact the Master and have him tell you, instead of trying to “fix” the situation to please and conform everyone involved.
Going to the Master should have been first and foremost, because he is first and foremost above all things, all people, and all circumstances. Learning to come forward and communicate the situation would have been the simplest and correct route, knowing and depending on the Master with complete trust for him to make the right decision for both. Master’s words, commands, guidance, are first and foremost and always should be, and believing and trusting the Master will always choose what is right for him and the submissive is simply the bottom line.
In this particular situation I panicked and waited too long trying to figure out a way to make everything work in a certain amount of time, which if I had not panicked, I would have realized the situation was out of my control and I could not “fix” it. Once I had realized it was out of my control I should have simply let Master know what was going on and still followed through with his commands, because in the beginning, the middle, and the end, it is Master’s commands that are most important and the only commands that I need to obey. Obedience is a naturally, instinctive act within a submissive’s soul, and a very easy one if you do not over think, over analyze, or try to fix things on your own. It is such a simple thing to do that shows how much you respect your Master, trust your Master, worship your Master, and adore him, yet I failed this simple act because I did not put Master first and foremost. I was trying to find a way to still follow his commands, while life things were happening around me, and instead of immediately telling him, I tried to make it all work which inevitably caused me to fail.
When you give your heart and soul to someone, it does not matter whether they are living in the same household or miles and miles apart, that love is still there, but when you love and submit, it intensifies any and all emotions to much deeper levels than most people can not comprehend. It is within these levels, these depths that the overwhelming desire to please the Master comes forth, because it is in the knowing that you have pleased the Master that fills your heart to overflowing. Overflowing with love, gratitude, joy, overflowing with the desire to please just for his happiness, for in his happiness is where you find yours. When you are with the one person whom you love beyond words, there is only one way…”The Master’s Way”. So simple, yet so very deep. Not many people understand the depths of this kind of relationship, and although I do understand it, I still need guidance, for without his commands, his words, his guidance, I am completely and utterly lost in a world that I seem not to fit in.
When you are a creature that has closed off the world for the majority of her life, and then lay yourself before the Master, completely open and vulnerable, it can be one of the most scariest moments you will ever experience, yet you do so because somewhere in your soul you know you are here for him. To serve him in any way he chooses, to be available for him at all times, and to pleasure him in whatever way he desires for that is your sole purpose in life, or should have been from the beginning of time. Most are unfortunate and never find who is a part of them in this lifetime, and they end up settling for another to take their place. I would rather be alone than have to be without my Master, he is the very air that I breathe.
I’m torn inside right now, one minute I like something, the next I’m condemning myself for liking it, yet want to please Master so no matter how I feel I will continue to do as he commands. It doesn’t matter how I feel, I have to keep my faith that the Master whom I trust will choose what is best for both of us, yet in my soul knowing he comes first and foremost in all things, and that is what I have to keep at the forefront of my heart, mind, and soul in order to please him, which in turn will make him happy, and in knowing that, I am rewarded with knowing I was pleasing to the one I worship and adore.
At the moment though I feel like a complete failure